As the New Year begins, most people kick a bad habit, shed pounds, or set really high and absurd goals for themselves. However for monsters, these trivial things do not matter to them. As monsters try to find a new place in the world these days, they struggle to fit into a new world. Surround by bloggers, social networks, and funny YouTube videos, many creatures are tired of whoring themselves out to anyone who will listen. The upcoming election of 2012 has inspired many of these supernatural entities to re-evaluate what matters to them. No longer out for blood and gore, these monsters have decided to participate in an election that may very well be the last on Earth. We have caught up with several monsters as they head to and from the 2012 primary voting polls, and their insight and opinions will not only shock you, but maybe even inspire you to vote to make a difference.
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| Monster matter in Iowa |
The first stop on the campaign trail was the famous Iowa caucus. Two of horror's greatest villain's came out to vote in this crazy political con. Pinhead is best known for the horrors of the Hellraiser franchise, but the real horrors that Pinhead has caused could never be made into a film. Pinhead recalls, "I was a very angry man in my younger days. Full of rage, gore, and sexuality. When Clive Barker wrote my story, we were both drunk and high. Just know what I told Clive was only a sample of what I have done!" Today Pinhead is a recovering addict who is married, an avid Buddhist, and a fan of origami and politics. "The great thing about my life now, is that here in America, I can vote for change. I have a wife, and have been off the bottle for 10 years. All of this help and support I could only find in America." With his life in a new direction and new focus, I had to find out what brought this famous horror legend to primary. "I want to show others of my kind (along with the American people) we have a voice, and as a citizen, we need to become more active in how this country is being handled. The days of ripping off people's flesh is over (unless of course its terrorists) and other's like me need to see that." This primary marks the first time Pinhead has voted in any election. "I was really excited. This is all new to me. To be a part of something so important makes me feel very honored and lucky." Before I parted ways with Pinhead, I had to ask who he was voting for. "That's a secret (just kidding); the truth is I really support Ron Paul. The guy is really in touch with the world. Plus being gray is the new 40. All joking aside, I enjoy his views and can identify with them."
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| The future is so bright he has to wear shades |
Another creature making his first appearance on the voting circuit is the infamous Dr. Zaius. The so called ruthless ape is actually a stant business-ape who has been a big time player behind the scenes with supporting the Republican Party. When asked about his appearance at the Iowa primary, he had this say. "The world is being destroyed by these so called liberals. To be honest, it's a bunch of hog wash. I can assure you that by being here in Iowa, the American people, both ape and human alike, want a change." With Iowa being an illogical choice for an ape to live, I had to ask what brought him to the state to begin with. "After those silly movies presented in such an unfashionable light, I wanted to show Americans that my kind are deeply rooted in grass roots. No pun intended (laughs)." He continues to add, "I support the growth of the American people, and these Republicans have a much better handle on the voice of the American people far better than some socialist in Washington." The doctor could talk for hours, but I had to find who he was endorsing for the upcoming election. "No mistake about it, this Romney fella has all his ducks in a row. He is misunderstood, but then again so am I." As we all waited for the results to be broadcast, both men met up for a drink, and as I watched these two misunderstood creatures discuss politics, I knew at that point that there was hope for others like them. Pinhead was a little down after the word got out that Ron Paul lost, but once we got him away from the tequila sunrises he seemed to mellow out a bit. As for Dr. Zaius, he sat back and raised his banana in the air along with others, as they celebrated a victory for Mitt Romney.
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| She is trying to make her voice be heard |
The next stop on this historic journey led me to the state of New Hampshire. It was in this state I discovered one of strangest yet misunderstood females of horror, the lovely Samara Morgan, from The Ring. She was only monster living in New Hampshire, yet she has been hard at work, making sure her voice can be heard. Best known for making her victims die in seven days after watching a video of her, today Samara volunteers at her local VA hospital, and reads to children at the local library. After being haunted by strangers making prank phone calls every seven days, Samara needed a change in her life. "I was so angry for so many years, to be honest. One day I was reading the paper, and the article was about Mitt Romney. This man has inspired me big time; I am not going to lie. That's why I am here today to cast my vote." Her new found love of politics is a far cry from her days of horror. As we waited last night for the results, Samara was a little edgy. After a little scare, in which she tried to climb back in a television, she rejoiced when Mitt Romney won the New Hampshire Primary. She had this to say, "This is a great day for everyone. This man is heading forward, and for once I am happy I am not trying to kill him!"
The road through the primaries can be a tough one for any voter, but being a creature of the night only adds to the stress. As that road continues, these creatures of the night struggle to keep the urge for flesh and gore at bay, meanwhile struggle to find the right person who they believe in, sit in the chair at the Oval Office. It is the hope of this blogger that monsters can unite for a common cause.
