Purgatory Voters face uphill battle to the voting polls

Purgatory Voters face uphill battle to the voting polls

by Bob-O-F'n-Mac

     While most of us are gearing up for the 2012 presidential election to elect either Mitt Romney or Barack Obama, one group of individuals are literally stuck in limbo as to how to make it to the voting polls this November. These lost souls are not dealing with racial or economic reasons as to why they cannot vote, but rather these individuals or more importantly their souls are stuck in Purgatory and unable to find a way to make it the local election center.

Matthew Cena of Colorado Springs was a man who committed suicide after running his pet rat just six short months ago. We here at the blog were able to contact him via an Ouija Board to hear him communicate about the horror of not being able to make it to the polls. “It’s just really hard right now, I figured that both of these candidates would make a strong pitch to God or whoever to let out those of us that registered to vote that happened to be trapped in here right now!” When I asked him how all of this mattered considering the fact that he was legally dead, Mr. Cena was quick to point out, “Look I get the fact that I am dead, but I never got to vote, and as far as I know I was never cremated so why not take a chance on a lost soul.”

Matthew does have a compelling argument to say the least. 

For those souls that still have a meat suit this side of the River Styx, why not take a chance and work on the way to help these voters more involved in an election. Calls from the Obama camp were not returned immediately, but the Romney campaign had this to say, “This campaign does not endorse satanic activity to get Mr. Romney elected for president. However that doesn’t mean we didn’t try. These voters are important, but until a higher power is ready to let these poor lost souls rejoin their body, legally we don’t have a leg to stand on.”

During the course of this investigation we did have a chance to talk to another soul who had these strong views to say. She has chosen to remain nameless due to ongoing litigation involving her soul. “I just think we shouldn’t be allowed to vote being honest. I mean I watched the debate and say nothing more than two grown men arguing like they were running for class president at their local high school promising off campus lunches. The point is that we are dead and stuck in between. Something as trivial as off campus lun—I mean the future of the United States isn’t really our concern anymore.”

Whatever the outcome one thing is for sure, if both the Democrats and the Republicans can’t get the lost soul vote this election, it is highly likely that when the next one runs around, that those souls might get a voice, but is that a good thing for those of us on Earth still? Only time will tell.